Beyond the Balancing Act

By Danielle M. Miller

Kids, career, spouse, family, friends, personal care, household, to-do lists…trying to juggle and balance all the roles and responsibilities we women have is overwhelming and both physically and emotionally draining.

It’s time to go beyond the balancing act.

We tend to think of balance as having all the different parts of our lives divided into equal little slices, with each getting equal time and attention. This is an impossible task to live up to. Work-life balance implies a duality where work is offset against life. When thought of that way, there is an inherent assumption that one must take precedence over the other. Both are now in competition for our time, effort and energy. If work wins, then life must “lose” and vice versa.

So what can you do instead of juggling balls, spinning plates and searching for that elusive balance?

1. Instead of thinking in terms of balance, think in terms of equilibrium and proportion. We all have our own sense of proportion. Balance means having a relationship with your life right now that is a reflection of what is really important to you.
2. A much more appealing definition of balance is this: an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements. It’s more about a blend than a balance in life.
3. Take stock of what you are doing and how much control you are handing over to others. This sounds deceptively simple, but the harsh reality is that if you don’t start designing what you want your life to look like, someone else will.
4. Do you feel like you are doing the work you were meant to do? Studies show that the more unhappy with your career and work choice, the more out of balance you will feel.
5. Know what’s right for you. Don’t let other people’s definition and expectations of balance be imposed on you. Only you can decide what equilibrium looks like to you.

Remember achieving your sense of balance doesn’t require huge, monumental changes…simple, small steps over time will allow you to ditch the balancing act for good!

Danielle M. Miller is a certified career invention coach and founder of Danielle M. Miller Coaching/Consulting. Her mission for women is to “Create The Life You Crave by Doing the Work You Love!” Connect with Danielle: www.twitter.com/daniellemmiller, http://www.facebook.com/shesasmartcookie and http://www.daniellemmiller.com.

Are You Going Broke Paying for Your Kids’ Sports?

By Renée A. Hanson

Back in the day, kids honed their athletic skills at the neighborhood park.

Now organized sports teams, camps and clinics have replaced parks and pick-up games. What’s more, the cost of youth athletics, like many consumer products, has dramatically increased.

In addition to team fees, there’s often pressure to buy expensive equipment and to pay for private lessons and pricey camps. Plus, there are extras — such as weekend or out-of-town tournaments, embroidered sweatshirts, team photos, and post-game celebrations — that can strain your pocketbook.

How can you rein in costs?

First, and foremost, evaluate your goals and expectations for an athletic activity, and determine what level of play and involvement makes the most sense given your child’s time, talent and interest... and your budget.

Second, keep the following in mind:

• You can always say no to a sport if the cost is too expensive.

• An intramural team may be a more affordable alternative to a traveling team, because intramural teams tend to have fewer practices and games and rely on volunteer coaches, which helps reduce their cost.

• You can use team meetings as an opportunity to ask important questions, for example, “Do the kids really need new warm-ups every year?” or “Can out-of-town travel be limited to one trip (or none) per season?”

• You can help get your child’s team involved in fundraising activities — for example, car washes and pancake breakfasts — to help generate revenue and offset costs.

Third, for every dollar you spend on sports today, invest the same dollar amount in a college savings plan for your son or daughter. Since athletic scholarships are few and far between, this will help ensure that your long-term goals of a college education for your child aren’t compromised by your current investment in their athletic development.

Last, but not least, if you’d like help determining what you can afford to put toward your child’s athletic interests, talk to your financial advisor. He or she can help you establish a budget for your children’s extracurricular activities based on your current income and savings goals.

Renée A. Hanson, CFP®, CEP®, CDFA™, CFS, is a private wealth advisor with Hanson, Ayala & Associates, a private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Her passion is in helping women achieve their dreams and financial goals, regardless of life’s many obstacles. Renée is licensed/registered to do business with U.S. residents only in the states of AZ, CA, CO, GA, IA, IL, MI, MN, MT, NH, NJ, NM, NY, OH, PA, SC, TX, VA, WA, WI. Please visit: www.reneehanson.com to learn more.

Become a member of the Fresh Start Community of women today: www.wehelpwomen.com.

Dueling Hormones

By E

If you’re in your 40’s or 50’s and you have kids in the house, you’re probably familiar with what I like to call “dueling hormones.”

This is that ever-so-special time when mom is going through perimenopause and menopause, and her kids are going through puberty and high school, all under the same roof.

With all these hormonal fluctuations happening at once, things can get more than a little hectic!

This hormonal roundup can be tough on everyone involved, and I’ve heard more than a few stories that break my heart. From children going to stay with friends because neither child nor parent knew how to resolve the issues, to separation and divorce.

If any of this sounds familiar, let me assure you: You are not alone!

Fortunately, amidst the chaos, there is a real opportunity to take these challenges and turn them into a time of growth and connection. Often the anger or outbreaks that come with hormonal fluctuations on both sides are really just an overflow or projection of the same anger and frustration that we might harbor against ourselves. Working on yourself and your own personal growth, knowing your body and being prepared for perimenopause and menopause, will help ease the super-tense dynamics that can develop with the people closest to you.

One of the most difficult features of puberty for a parent to deal with is the communication shut down. Many kids just stop talking. They don’t want to hear anything from you and they don’t want you to hear anything from them! Your teenager is trying to find his or her own independence and confidence in their own decision-making, so this kind of push away is common and normal at this age. However, when you’re going through perimenopause and menopause, and you’re already feeling emotionally shaky yourself, it can be hard not to take this radio silence personally.

When communication shuts down completely, everyone suffers. So it is important to keep talking. Let them know that you still love them—that you are here for them if they need you and that you care, all the while respecting their journey towards independence. The best way to begin this process is to remind yourself that it isn’t about you. Try not to personalize their silence and their outbreaks. Remind yourself that just as you are going through your own hormonal roller coaster and life-changing experience, so are your kids.

You’re the parent, so you can be the first to give. Share your own challenges openly so they know what you’re going through, and you can give them an opportunity to relate to you, even if they don’t want to show it. Chances are your teen may be experiencing sleepless nights and mood swings just like you.

You may look at your teen and think an alien has swooped down and taken over your dear sweet child, but remember, they may be looking at you with the same thoughts! Of course, every circumstance is different, and it may take some tweaking to customize this loving approach to fit your own unique family structure, but the more we educate and empower our loved ones and ourselves, the happier and more compassionate the whole household will be. Ignore those rolling eyes, make eye contact and talk it out! You, too, can find hormone happiness in your house!

"E" is the pen name of Ellen Sarver Dolgen, author of Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness, a light-hearted, informative, easy-to-read book on menopause, and creator ofhttp://www.shmirshky.com, a resource treasure trove for women going through perimenopause and menopause.

Members of the Fresh Start Community, be sure to check out your Special Offers page to get your copy of E's fun-loving Shmirshky book. Not a member yet? Become one by visiting www.wehelpwomen.com.

Career Reinvention: How to Change Roles, Industries or Professional Goals

By Sherri Thomas

There are times in everyone’s career that you feel like running away and starting all over again, and I’m here to say that you can do it!

I’ve reinvented my career four times, including being a disc jockey in radio, community relations director in television, regional marketing manager in a Fortune 100 finance company and a global technical program manager in a Fortune 100 high tech company.

If you’d like to change careers but worry that your salary would decrease, take comfort in knowing that each time I changed careers I received a pay increase!

Reinventing your career means repackaging your skills, qualifications and successes so that you can transition into a new job role, company or industry.

Here are four steps to help you transition into a new career more quickly, easily and maybe even with a higher salary!

1.What are your transferable skills?

These are skills that transition from industry to industry or from job role to job role. Examples include: managing projects, teams, clients or budgets, as well as negotiating contracts, or proposing and implementing ideas that generate money, save money or help the company be more competitive.

Other transferable skills include personal characteristics, such as demonstrating leadership or risk taking, training or mentoring team members, being goal driven, results oriented, a problem solver, or having the ability to influence senior managers. These are great skills to have, and they transfer from industry to industry. All kinds of industries and companies value employees with these types of skills and characteristics.

2. Match your transferable skills to job roles.

Read job descriptions posted on CareerJournal.com, CareerBuilder.com and Monster.com, as well as the classified ads in industry magazines, business publications and company websites. If you want to work for a specific company, check out their website’s online job postings. Learn the skills and qualifications required for various job roles.

Match your transferable skills to those jobs you want to go after. If there’s a gap between the required skills and the skills that you currently have, then look for ways to gain that experience. You can do this by taking on an extended assignment in your current job, or if you’re in between jobs then try freelancing, consulting or volunteering.

Also, attend industry conferences, trade shows, business networking events and association meetings. Talk to people who work in the industry to learn about their career path, key skills and advice on how to break into the business.

3. Blow up your resume.

The first thing I always did before I transitioned into a new career was blow up my resume. Trying to piece together a resume that highlighted the skills I used to get my last job with the skills I need to land my next job is like trying to weld together Lexus parts on a BMW. It doesn’t work. You need a brand-new resume.

Showcase only those jobs, responsibilities and successes that relate to the job you want. The hiring manager doesn’t care about every job you’ve ever had. They just want to know, Can you do their job? You may also want to get a professional resume critique to help you customize your resume and identify your transferable skills.

4. Attitude is the key ingredient!

I’ve found that getting a new job really boils down to two things: confidence and passion. I’ve never walked into an interview having met all of the job requirements. In fact, for the television interview, I lacked the two biggest requirements, which were a minimum of two years experience in television and a reel to show my TV work.

To compensate, I focused on my transferable skills, which were being highly creative and a solid copywriter. That got my foot in the door for the interview. But to get the job offer and beat out the other four job candidates, I was passionate about the company and the job! I also told the hiring manager that I absolutely knew that I could do the job!

There’s a kind of quiet confidence that we all have down deep inside. A confidence that comes from knowing what we’re capable of doing. When you transition into a new job role or a new company, you need to show the hiring manager that you have confidence in yourself and know that you’ll be successful in the job. When it comes to reinventing your career, it’s not just your talent but your attitude that counts!

Sherri Thomas is founder of Career Coaching 360, an international speaker and author of "Career Smart: 5 Steps to a Powerful Personal Brand" on Amazon’s TOP 10 LIST for personal branding books. Career Coaching 360 provides career planning, management coaching and leadership development to help professionals change careers quickly and easily. Connect with Sherri at www.twitter.com/sherrithomas and on her website atwww.careercoaching360.com, where you can also grab a free Career Analysis Package.

Become a member of the Fresh Start Community of women today:www.wehelpwomen.com.