Bounce!
There are so many
resources today that explore our ability to bounce back from life events. In their book Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back, Andrew Zolli and Ann Marie
Healy define resilience as “the capacity of a system,
enterprise, or a person to maintain its core purpose and integrity in the face
of dramatically changed circumstances.”
Robert J.
Wicks who wrote Bounce: Living the
Resilient Life describes resilience as “the ability to meet, learn from, and
not be crushed by the challenges and stresses of life.”
Singer/actress Lena
Horne put it this way: “It’s not the
load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” And we all carry our loads in different ways,
some of us with a smile, some with a snarl. Because research
shows that individuals with resilience or “bounce” adapt faster and experience less
stress, it can be useful to step back and take stock of how you cope.
Types of Resilience
We see resilience
in many areas of our lives. Our bodies
show physical resilience in the healing of a scrape or a bruise and in
the recovery from a surgery or an illness.
Physical resilience helps us meet physical challenges like surviving
boot camp or achieving a personal best in our favorite sport.
In the psychological/emotional
realm, we experience resilience when we see problems as opportunities for
growth and when we perform well under stress.
It is demonstrated in our lives when we grow from personal and
professional challenges and when we use our strengths to overcome
adversity. Resilience helps us to
recover from trauma and to cope with life events, both positive and
negative.
We also demonstrate
resilience socially by dealing with the loss of a friend or by making
new relationships when we change jobs or move to a new area. It takes work to maintain fulfilling
relationships and to work constructively with others. Our social resilience helps us hold these
relationships through times of conflict.
Other examples include being able to work constructively on a team or engaging
in comfortable exchange of ideas with people who think differently from us, as
well as demonstrative empathy, openness and respect.
Resilience can be seen
in the spiritual arena.
Individuals with spiritual resilience can hold faith and doubt at the
same time, gaining strength from trouble, temptation and trials.
Taking steps to build
resilience today can have positive effects down the road including an increase
in confidence, judgment, and decision making.
It can lower stress, increase joy in life, and help us grow as
individuals. Imagine the ripple effect
when you show up stronger and more capable at home and at work!
Skills
for Building Resilience
In The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and
Overcoming Life’s Hurdles, Karen Reivick, Ph.D. and Andrew Shatte, Ph.D.
highlight skills that we can practice to create a stronger bounce when life
gets tough. Here are a few to consider.
Emotion Regulation – The ability to stay calm under
pressure is important for forming intimate relationships, succeeding at work,
and maintaining physical health. Use
your journal to record the kinds of events and circumstances that set you
off. Locate a local class on the
subject, or connect with a mentor, coach, or counselor and examine your emotional
habits. Read a book – there are three
listed in this article. Here is a
fourth: Emotional Intelligence: Why It
Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman.
Optimism – Reivick and Shatte tell us that optimists
are healthier, less likely to suffer depression, do better in school, are more
productive at work, and win more at sports.
They define optimism as the belief that things can change for the
better; hope for the future and a belief that one can control the direction of
one’s life. Those of us who carry a more
negative view of things can benefit from noticing on a daily basis the good in
our lives and holding appreciation in our hearts. To learn more about your levels of optimism
and to identify ways to elevate your views on life, visit http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx. It is the website of Dr. Martin Seligman, the
grandfather of the positive psychology movement.
Reaching Out – Resilience can be strengthened by
connecting with others. Take time away
from work and life routines to connect with friends and acquaintances for a
movie or a conversation over coffee.
Join a book club at your local library or enjoy crafts with other
enthusiasts. Be of service to others
through volunteer efforts in your community.
Research shows that helping others raises endorphin levels, increasing
happiness and feelings of self-worth.
Happy
New Year!
2013 is here. Let’s all wish and work for an abundance of
happiness and joy for ourselves and for those around us. When you’re feeling low, remember to bounce!
Peg McQuarrie is a
certified professional coach and the owner of WellSprings Consulting. Her passion is to support others as they step into the successful, meaningful, authentic lives they
are meant to live! For almost 20
years, she has helped individuals and work groups maximize their potential and
achieve personal, business, and organizational success. Her services include coaching for individuals
and teams; design and facilitation of group retreats; design and delivery of
personal and professional development workshops; and organizational
consulting.
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