Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Advice from Everyday Women


Over the past few years I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by some amazing and dynamic women who have been positive influences in my life spiritually, professionally, emotionally and intellectually.  I have learned a great deal from them and have always wanted to somehow package and share all the beautiful lessons I have learned. So this time I decided to formally approach some of the women in my life with one simple question: “If you had the opportunity to share one piece of advice with your younger self, what would it be?” I was both overwhelmed and excited by their responses and thought it would be great to share some of the advice I received in two separate postings.

A dear friend of mine Dr. Susan Stemmler, PhD, CNM who is a Women’s Health Specialist and Nurse Midwife in Los Angeles shared with me some wonderful pieces of advice on how women can combat negative thinking.

She begins….

“A friend asked me to write what I thought might be a good piece of advice for young women. I pondered just a bit and began to remember when I was a young woman.  Granted, times were different, but people are still people, and young people are probably more the same than different as young adults.  So, I recalled when I was a young woman of about 20.  I wanted to make my own way, to make a difference in the world, and to be thought of as an adult.  Is that so different from now???

Most times things happened as I expected, but there were times when things were out of my control. Occasionally, I felt bad when things did not turn out how I envisioned them. Usually, it was easy to regroup and try again or adjust how I was doing something to make it work again. 

Then, on a rare occasion I thought it was all going wrong! Shot to ***!!  When it happened it was worse when it involved people I cared about.  With things, I never got so upset.  But with people, what I did or said or thought, always seemed to be an important thing. 

Trying to deal with the problem, I would think about it, and then rethink it over and over and over.  I found that sometimes I had thoughts that would begin to eat away at me.  The thoughts hurt. They took my confidence away, and they made me think I was bad or wrong or at least not my strong self. 

What I needed to learn was that all the negative talk in my head wasn't necessarily true! 

Much of the time, our minds make things seem much worse than they are!!  Our minds exaggerate the bad!  Crazy mind, it plays judge, jury and executioner, all at once.  For some of use, it is actually harder to accept the good about ourselves than to think we are at fault. I think this happens more to women than to me (just my thought!) Women want to do right, be right, and think we are kind, whether we are or not! Anyway, back to the negative talk.  Negative head talk is super critical.  It takes a toll on our self-esteem.  To get past this life sucking, miserable feeling, we need to learn is how to tell the difference about what is really going and what is exaggerated by our minds.  Notice what your mind tells you, our minds usually like to do the same things over and over again.  ASK yourself--Is it exaggerated negative talk or did I act wrongly, unfairly, or ________( You can use your own word to describe your action.) 

So, when this happens, there are some RULES to remember. Most of the time they work.

Remember your perspective. A poor judgment isn't the end of the world.  Everybody makes a poor decision from time to time--It's a human thing! We need to forgive ourselves for getting involved in a  funky situation. 

Evaluate. Usually the problem isn't nearly as bad as we thought! Most mistakes can be corrected.

Do the right thing. If there is a way to fix it, then fix it.  Do what you can to make a correction.

Remember the “Sands of Time.” Sometimes, things do really turn out crummy.  The crummy only lasts for a while. It’s a really heavy burden to carry a mistake around; it slows us down, and gets in our way. Anyway, things, whether they are bad or good, all go away in a very short time.

See it for what it is. Reliving a situation over and over again in our minds is self-destructive. 

Apologize. Usually it helps to say I am sorry. Saying “I’m sorry” gives the other person an opportunity to reconsider who you are! They give themselves another chance to experience you.  So you get a fresh start, to be the “good person they originally thought you were. Other people have very short memories. People forgive and forget far sooner than we forgive ourselves, most times.

Give yourself another chance.  Say, I forgive me!  Say, I messed up, Say, I made a mistake. I’m human. Then… say a positive affirmation, repeat it again and again, “I am a good person, and I forgive me.”      When we forgive ourselves, we make a decision that allow us to move on. 

Learn from a mistake. It helps when we learn from our mistakes.  Most of us know not to do that one again, ‘cause we already know the crummy outcome. So we learned!

 Then, move on.  That is a great thing about being human, we can move on.  We move on to be better human beings for having made the mistake.  It was what we learned after making the mistake that makes us wise.  We learn to trust ourselves to make a better choice for the next time.”

 

Ann Kiki Anaebere, RN, PhD  is a nurse and educator.  Ann currently holds the RN Quality Improvement position at Denver Health Medical Center/Medical Plan. In this role Ann works collaboratively to support and develop initiatives to improve key national health measures for Denver Health's medical insurance plans. Ann also oversees the National Committee for Quality Assurance (NCQA) Multicultural Healthcare (MHC) Accreditation process for the Health Organization. Finally, Ann is also a Professional Speaker through the HealthEDProject (www.healthedproject.weebly.com).

Is Your Spouse Financially Unfaithful?



In a recent Harris Interactive online poll of 2,019 adults, 31 percent of American couples with combined finances admitted lying to their spouses about money.1

Not surprisingly, another third of these adults admitted that they had been deceived. Both sexes lied to their partners about money in equal numbers.

The top three deceptions involved hiding:

  • Cash — 58 percent
  • Minor purchases — 54 percent
  • Bills — 30 percent

Others included:

  • Hiding major purchases — 16 percent
  • Keeping a secret bank account — 15 percent
  • Lying about earnings — 11 percent
  • Lying about debt — 11 percent

When the lies were discovered, it led to:

  • Divorce —16 percent
  • Separation — 11 percent
  • An argument — 67 percent
  • Decreased trust — 42 percent

What can you do to help protect yourself?

Although there is no sure-fire way to prevent a partner from financially deceiving you, there are a few things you can do to reduce the likelihood it will happen — or at least help you catch a deception early on, before it grows into an even bigger problem.

First, before you say “I do” or combine finances with your partner, discuss your values and expectations about spending, saving and managing money. Identify any areas of disagreement and work to resolve them by deciding how you’ll approach future financial situations together.

Second, take time to regularly go over finances with your partner. This includes reviewing your tax documents together, which can help ensure you both know how much the other is earning, as well as how much is being contributed to employer-sponsored savings vehicles, such as a 401(k). It also includes regularly checking your credit card statements and making sure that the purchases match up with your receipts.

Third, schedule meetings with your financial, tax and legal professionals at times you can go together. This enables both of you to be well informed about — and equally involved in making — decisions about how to approach your:

  • Financial goals
  • Investments
  • Taxes
  • Wills
  • Other legal documents

It also enables you to strengthen your joint relationships with these professionals.

1 The online poll, commissioned by ForbesWoman and the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) was conducted from December 17 to 21, 2010.

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Renée A. Hanson, CFP®, CEP®, CDFA™, CFS, is a private wealth advisor with Hanson, Ayala & Associates, a private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc.  Her passion is in helping women achieve their dreams and financial goals, regardless of life’s many obstacles.  Renée is licensed/registered to do business with U.S. residents only in the states of AZ, CA, CO, GA, IA, IL, MI, MN, MT, NH, NJ, NM, NY, OH, PA, SC, TX, VA, WA, WI.  Please visit: www.reneehanson.com to learn more.

Ameriprise Financial does not provide tax or legal advice. Consult your tax advisor or attorney.

Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients.

© 2011 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

How to Reduce the Impact of Rising Food Costs




So, what can you do to help minimize the effect of rising food costs from spoiling your budget? Consider the following:

·         Make a list of what you need before you head to the store. Taking time upfront to create a menu for the week and then buying only the items on your grocery list can help you avoid impulse purchases. It may also reduce the amount you spend at the store and the volume of spoiled or expired food you toss out at home.

·         Clip coupons or sign up for online sites that enable you to print them. To help you take the most advantage of using coupons and where to find the best values, consider using free or subscription sites that compare store prices, such as couponmom.com or thegrocerygame.com.

·         Shop farmer’s markets, which often have fresher produce at lower costs than grocery stores — in part because they offer in-season fruits and vegetables. Also, because the food is locally grown it costs less to transport.

·         Buy fresh foods. Typically, the more a food is processed and packaged, the more it costs. Shop the outside perimeter of your grocery store this is typically where the fresh fruits, vegetables, dairy products, meats and baked goods are located.

·         Compare unit prices. Often included on the in-store shelving price tag, this price can help you identify the best value — and the larger size isn’t always it. For example, you may find a two-pound package of strawberries prices at $5.99. Yet, if the one-pound packages of strawberries are on sale two for $5, that offers you the best value.

·         Buy in bulk and split the items and the cost with a family member or friend. This is especially beneficial if you like the prices offered at warehouse stores like Costco and Sam’s Club but can’t typically consume the quantity of their items before they expire.



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Renée A. Hanson, CFP®, CEP®, CDFA™, CFS, is a private wealth advisor with Hanson, Ayala & Associates, a private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Her passion is in helping women achieve their dreams and financial goals, regardless of life’s many obstacles. Renée is licensed/registered to do business with U.S. residents only in the states of AZ, CA, CO, GA, IA, IL, MI, MN, MT, NH, NJ, NM, NY, OH, PA, SC, TX, VA, WA, WI. Please visit: www.reneehanson.com to learn more.

Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients.

© 2011 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Upcycle Your Wardrobe!



Upcycling simply means reworking old fabric and materials – taking something that would otherwise be trash or headed to Goodwill and turning it into something of greater value, unique, and usable again!

It is also a really inexpensive way to learn to sew, get creative, and be more unique in your own style!

Here are some top tips to begin you on your upcycling journey!



Choose the garment for Upcycling Carefully
-          pick something that you no longer wear
-          pick a piece of clothing made from a fabric that you love
-          check the quality and condition before you start

Go Online
-          there is an absolute wealth of tutorials and videos online with top tips and step by step upcycling tutorials showing you how to make an entire project from start to finish from a puff sleeve, to a pair of pants

Start Simple
-          there is no need to be overambitious when starting out – why not begin with switching up the buttons on a favorite jacket, or re-hemming the sleeves for a ¾ length look…
-          Remember to keep any excess fabric, buttons, and elastic when you take apart pieces of clothing – these can be used for simple and quick upcycling projects like fabric belts!

Customize
-          If you have an old cardigan that you love but feel that it has seen better days then why not sew on some patches to the elbows, or embroider a pretty motif – the possibilities are endless when you get creative with embroidery and embellishments!


Dawn Antestenis currently works for Fresh Start Women's Foundation managing their websites and social media. Dawn has a Masters in English Literature and qualifications in Multimedia Technology and Non-Profit Management with experience working for non-profits for over 10 years.