Tips to Get Finances in Order for 2013

While the year is still young, take some time to organize your financial life  

Are you ready to get your finances in order for 2013?  If so, here are some tips to get started:

Create a budget.  By setting and tracking income and expense categories, you not only keep your current finances organized, you can also set the wheels in motion for reaching long-term goals like buying a new house or financing college.

 

Make it automatic.  You’ll have fewer details to worry about by automating as many financial chores as possible.  For example, you may be able to eliminate trips to the bank with automatic payroll deposit. Automating your monthly bills for things like cable, electricity and trash removal can also save you hours of valuable free time each month.

 

Inventory your assets.  A financial inventory provides a useful snapshot of your assets so you can understand where you are now and what you must do to reach your goals.

File important documents.  In addition to your financial inventory, keep other important documents like tax returns and statements from investment accounts organized and accessible.  You’ll also want to keep insurance policies, wills, trust documents and other important paperwork safe and available to those who may need them.

Computerize the process.  There are a variety of software packages and on-line resources available to help you keep your financial life organized.  Most of them are very inexpensive – and some are even free.

 

With the basics in order, you can focus more clearly on all the things you’d like to accomplish in 2013.

 

 

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Renée A. Hanson, CFP®, CEP®, CDFA™, CFS, is a private wealth advisor with Hanson, Ayala & Associates, a private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc.  Her passion is in helping women achieve their dreams and financial goals, regardless of life’s many obstacles.  Renée is licensed/registered to do business with U.S. residents only in the states of AZ, CA, CO, GA, IA, IL, MI, MN, MT, NH, NJ, NM, NY, OH, PA, SC, TX, VA, WA, WI.  Please visit: www.reneehanson.com to learn more.

 

Ameriprise Financial does not provide tax or legal advice. Consult your tax advisor or attorney.

 

Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients.

 

© 2011 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

Think You Can't Meditate? Try This!

Reposted from www.thedailymuse.com 

I have never been an entirely successful meditator, and I doubt that I’m alone. Any time I’ve ever tried to sit still and clear my head, my nose twitches uncontrollably. My hair feels funny. My mind zeros in on one thing and one thing only: Try to ignore your itchy body.

I used to think that my restlessness would keep me away from meditation—at least until I decided to really buckle down and somehow master the art of sitting still. But, as it turns out, we seekers of peace and stress reduction don’t have to fold ourselves into Lotus pose before sunrise to reap the health benefits of this Eastern practice.

“There is certainly great value in doing a sitting meditation,” says Bob Stahl, PhD, a teacher of mindfulness-based stress reduction and author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook. “But there are also ways to practice being mindful in whatever activity we are doing.”

And it only takes a few minutes out of your day. If you’re a meditation novice like me, here are two simple adjustments you can make to your daily schedule to relax and clear your head.

Check In With Yourself

We often have days when we’re inundated with more emails, meetings, and phone calls than we can handle. We forget about lunch, and by the afternoon, we can’t quite remember the last time we looked away from the computer screen, had a drink of water, or peed.

The problem with running on autopilot is that we’re going about our business, but we’re not really focusing on what we need or what’s most important at any given moment. To combat this, Dr. Stahl advocates “mindful check-ins”—or, one-minute pauses throughout the day to refocus and recalibrate. The acronym he uses to explain this method is S.T.O.P., which stands for Stopping, Taking a breath, Observing, and Proceeding on with presence.

Since I started officially checking in with myself throughout my day, this very simple act of taking a breath and observing my body has made me notice, among other things, my tendency to clench my hands when I type. So after the check-in, I give them a stretch. Or, I’ll realize that I need to drink some water, relax my shoulders, or look away from my computer screen. When I return to what I’m doing a minute later, I’m more relaxed and balanced.

It’s so simple, this stopping technique. The only hard part is remembering to do it. So try giving yourself these minutes at regular intervals throughout your day. You might even set yourself a “check-in reminder” on your phone.

Check Out Your Surroundings

A few months ago, I was on my way to the airport in a taxi. Feeling stressed and rushed, I stuck headphones in my ears and scrolled through my Twitter feed.

A text bubble popped up on my screen from my boyfriend, also on his way to the airport in another cab. “Can you believe this sunset?” it read.

I looked up to see a sky that was a rare shade of pink—something I’d almost missed while clicking on link after link on my phone.

Sound familiar? We’re so often in our own heads (or phones) that we’re tuned out to what’s going on around us. We often convince ourselves that somewhere else is better than where we are instead of tuning into the moment we’re in right here, right now, and appreciating it for what it is.

I’ve noticed that trying to go through my day more deliberately—to get off autopilot—has helped to reshape my experiences in small but important ways. A few days ago, when I got off the subway after work, I took my headphones off. Taking a breath, I looked at the newly changed red and yellow leaves on the sidewalk trees, listened to the rumble of cars driving by, and heard the yelping of two siblings on scooters and a harried father chasing behind them.

This act of really noticing my surroundings didn’t solve my problems, and it didn’t bring me instant joy. But, arriving home a few minutes later, I felt just a little more calm than usual when I walked through the door.

No matter how busy you are, these “meditation” techniques don’t require your time as much as they require a shift in your awareness throughout the day—a choice to focus on the present moment. And that doesn’t mean you have to stop your mind from wandering, you just have to pause and be aware.

So try it out. In time, you may even start to feel like adopting a more formal mindfulness meditation program, which, studies have shown, have actually changed the parts of the brain associated with anxiety and stress.

But even if you never end up in Lotus pose, you can learn to live a bit more peacefully by simply mastering the art of paying attention.

4 Stages to True Happiness

Are you one of the over 20 million Americans searching for how to be happier and healthier?

 

 

Yes, you read that correctly, over 20 million people have sat down at their computers and

searched for how to be happier and healthier. That’s an epidemic!

 

Especially for women, being happy is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Because we are so

connected to our emotions, our bodies, our energy, when we are unhappy or out of alignment

with our truth, our center or ourselves, it creates a discomfort that is often unbearable. Do

you remember that old saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” It’s so true! Just the way we are

designed and created, happiness is essential to our health and well being. When we are happy,

we make healthier choices - we value ourselves and treat ourselves with care, respect and act

accordingly.

 

But there is more to this happiness picture than just the surface. Yes of course we love it when

we experience the elation that comes from losing 5 lbs or being recognized for our contributions

at work, but these are experiences that just temporarily boost our mood. What I’ve discovered

in coaching women over these last seven years, is that most women desire something much

deeper than this. What we truly desire is the happiness that is an internal state of being which

says, ”I’m OK no matter what. I’m valuable and all of life supports me.” In other words, we want

true happiness.

 

There are four stages to true happiness and each stage builds upon the previous until we

eventually find ourselves in that place of happiness and well being. As you explore the stages, I

encourage you to identify which stage you’re in and explore the different suggestions to evolve

to the next stage.

1. The first stage is the victim stage.

This is when we believe that life happens to us. We are at the whim and mercy of our bosses, our spouses, our children, the economy, etc. We feel that we don’t have a voice or choice in life and often our dominant emotions are fear, anger and resentment. It’s hard to be happy when you feel that you have no control over what happens to you.

All of us are victims to a certain extent when we are small as we don’t really have a lot of choices and we’re dependent on others for survival. At that stage in life –life is happening to us. But to find true happiness, we have to evolve out of this stage. Otherwise, we will always be like a rudder-less boat in the ocean, bobbing and swaying to whatever the current throws our way.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Learn to say no with kindness

● Speak up for yourself

● Set clear and consistent boundaries

● Take time for you

2. The second stage is the control stage.

As we learn to do the things mentioned above, we awaken to our power and begin to discover that we have influence or control over our lives.  We also realize that our mindset, our intentions and our prayers can actually come true. We learn that what we focus on grows, so we create a positive mindset and often times deepen our faith.

As powerful as this stage is, it’s actually only the beginning of true happiness. Because at this stage, everything has to be in our control to be happy. So if we cannot control it, then we are not happy. This is the point where we realize that we need to have a better concept of happiness because we cannot control everyone and everything.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Ask for help

● Let go of things that do not bring you happiness

● Allow others to take more responsibility

● Prayer & meditation

3. The third stage is the awakening stage.

This is the stage when we awaken to the fact that to be truly happy, it has to come from within. That our heart, our minds, our bodies and our being can all align in a true state of happiness. We recognize that we can experience happiness in spite of what is happening around us.

Often times at this stage, we experience all the good feeling emotions such as gratitude and joy and it’s a pretty good stage to be in! But we actually have one more step in our journey to true happiness, which is to embody and live this awakening.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Ask for higher or divine guidance

● Trust your intuition

● Look for signs and clues from life

4. The final stage is true happiness.

This is where we come to be happy. Where we have this center and core of peace and joy that while flexible, is permanent. This is also the stage when we realize that to keep our happiness, we need to spread it. When we finally realize that rather than looking for happiness in people, places and things, we can bring happiness everywhere we go.

This is true happiness - a state of being and living. From this place, life opens up and no matter what happens, you can chose to be happy.

To maintain true happiness, try these steps:

● Look for places and people where you can bring happiness

● Give back what you have discovered for yourself

● Express your happiness in unique ways

Gabrielle Marie Loomis is an Extraordinary Coach, Speaker & Educator who awakens

women to their true power and potential. Women who engage in Gabrielle’s programs

experience personal and professional empowerment leading to radical transformation in

their lives. Results include feeling like a new woman, glowing confidence and radiating

joy! Gabrielle has mastery level training in coaching, energy psychology and human

potential and loves to incorporate her natural intuitive abilities into everything she does.

She offers a variety of transformational programs, products and services which can be

found at www.gabriellemarieloomis.com.

Stress Out! Happiness In!

Lately I hear more and more about the harmful effects of stress. Could it be that we are finally coming to realize America’s number one health problem is actually stress? Now, I know many of you will point to cancer, diabetes or obesity as the nation’s top health concerns; but all of those diseases can be caused or made worse by stress.

Anger, depression and other stressors affect the immune system (Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 2001, 24:537-555). Every feeling we experience affects some part of our body. Unresolved anger and other negative emotions are some of the most common causes of disease. While you may not get sick immediately after a heated argument, you can be sure that if anger goes unchecked it will lower your resistance to the flu or the common cold, and you will get sick eventually.

Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) admits that as many as 90 percent of visits to the doctor are a result of stress-related illness (USA Today, March 22, 2005). We need to kill stress before it kills us.

Where does all this stress come from? For adults, job worries and finances top the list of major stressors. Others add that fear, increased crime, peer pressure, substance abuse and family problems are also among the chief causes of stress.

Most of us do not have the luxury of living on a deserted island or meditating for hours a day. We live in a stressful world, and it is unrealistic to think we can completely eliminate stress from our lives. However, we can lower the effects of stress. Here are 10 tips to help you live in a stressful world without having to be stressed out!

1.       Practice the art of SDASU (Sit Down And Shut Up): Life is so busy that we often end the day without having a moment to ourselves. Take the time to sit still and be quiet.

2.       Lower your sugar intake: A healthy diet can make a big difference in how stress affects you. Decrease or eliminate your caffeine intake.

3.       Create frequent and low-risk family time: Engage more often with your family in activities that are low-risk for stress. Going through the drive-through does not count; but playing board games, attending a ball game or other mutually enjoyable shared activities can be refueling. If you are single, get together with friends without an agenda – just hang out.

4.       Talk it through: Find a confidant or trusted advisor with whom you can safely share frustrations in the form of a ‘vent’ session.

5.       Say no to low-priority activities: Don’t stress out over obligations. Learn to value yourself and your time by prioritizing high-value activities and eliminating low-value stressors in your life.

6.       Learn to under-react: This is a personal favorite and is explained further in my book, The Happiness Factor. Don’t let urgent matters or someone else’s crisis become your crisis. Say, “I choose to under-react.” Take a step back, and take a deep breath. You will be surprised at how many problems diminish this way.

7.       Widen the wiggle room: Learn to accept interruptions gracefully. Don’t schedule yourself so tightly that you can’t adapt to changes in your day.

8.       Own up to your feelings: Take notice of when you feel stress, look for a cause, and make an adjustment. Don’t let stress take up long-term residence within you.

9.       Give it away: Look for a good deed to do. This may seem difficult when you feel stressed, but doing something thoughtful for another person will give you positive feelings and constructive re-direction. Focus on small acts of kindness.

10.   Work out or take a walk: Regular exercise really does help. While you can’t run a mile every time you feel stress, a consistent exercise program will help you cope better. It is proven that exercise improves your state of mind and well-being.

 

Kirk Wilkinson is the Founder and President of The Happiness Factor, a best-selling author, two-time cancer survivor, speaker and life coach. The Happiness and Factor and the Fresh Start for Women Foundation have partnered to bring you a powerful and uplifting on-line coaching program. Click here to learn more.

Personal Resilience

Bounce!

There are so many resources today that explore our ability to bounce back from life events.  In their book Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back, Andrew Zolli and Ann Marie Healy define resilience as “the capacity of a system, enterprise, or a person to maintain its core purpose and integrity in the face of dramatically changed circumstances.” 

Robert J. Wicks who wrote Bounce: Living the Resilient Life describes resilience as “the ability to meet, learn from, and not be crushed by the challenges and stresses of life.”

Singer/actress Lena Horne put it this way:  “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”  And we all carry our loads in different ways, some of us with a smile, some with a snarl. Because research shows that individuals with resilience or “bounce” adapt faster and experience less stress, it can be useful to step back and take stock of how you cope.  

Types of Resilience

We see resilience in many areas of our lives.  Our bodies show physical resilience in the healing of a scrape or a bruise and in the recovery from a surgery or an illness.  Physical resilience helps us meet physical challenges like surviving boot camp or achieving a personal best in our favorite sport. 

In the psychological/emotional realm, we experience resilience when we see problems as opportunities for growth and when we perform well under stress.  It is demonstrated in our lives when we grow from personal and professional challenges and when we use our strengths to overcome adversity.  Resilience helps us to recover from trauma and to cope with life events, both positive and negative. 

We also demonstrate resilience socially by dealing with the loss of a friend or by making new relationships when we change jobs or move to a new area.  It takes work to maintain fulfilling relationships and to work constructively with others.  Our social resilience helps us hold these relationships through times of conflict.  Other examples include being able to work constructively on a team or engaging in comfortable exchange of ideas with people who think differently from us, as well as demonstrative empathy, openness and respect.    

Resilience can be seen in the spiritual arena.  Individuals with spiritual resilience can hold faith and doubt at the same time, gaining strength from trouble, temptation and trials.    

Taking steps to build resilience today can have positive effects down the road including an increase in confidence, judgment, and decision making.  It can lower stress, increase joy in life, and help us grow as individuals.  Imagine the ripple effect when you show up stronger and more capable at home and at work!

Skills for Building Resilience

In The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles, Karen Reivick, Ph.D. and Andrew Shatte, Ph.D. highlight skills that we can practice to create a stronger bounce when life gets tough.  Here are a few to consider.

Emotion Regulation – The ability to stay calm under pressure is important for forming intimate relationships, succeeding at work, and maintaining physical health.  Use your journal to record the kinds of events and circumstances that set you off.  Locate a local class on the subject, or connect with a mentor, coach, or counselor and examine your emotional habits.  Read a book – there are three listed in this article.  Here is a fourth: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

Optimism – Reivick and Shatte tell us that optimists are healthier, less likely to suffer depression, do better in school, are more productive at work, and win more at sports.  They define optimism as the belief that things can change for the better; hope for the future and a belief that one can control the direction of one’s life.  Those of us who carry a more negative view of things can benefit from noticing on a daily basis the good in our lives and holding appreciation in our hearts.  To learn more about your levels of optimism and to identify ways to elevate your views on life, visit http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx.  It is the website of Dr. Martin Seligman, the grandfather of the positive psychology movement. 

Reaching Out – Resilience can be strengthened by connecting with others.  Take time away from work and life routines to connect with friends and acquaintances for a movie or a conversation over coffee.  Join a book club at your local library or enjoy crafts with other enthusiasts.  Be of service to others through volunteer efforts in your community.  Research shows that helping others raises endorphin levels, increasing happiness and feelings of self-worth.

Happy New Year!

2013 is here.  Let’s all wish and work for an abundance of happiness and joy for ourselves and for those around us.  When you’re feeling low, remember to bounce!

 

Peg McQuarrie is a certified professional coach and the owner of WellSprings Consulting.  Her passion is to support others as they step into the successful, meaningful, authentic lives they are meant to live!  For almost 20 years, she has helped individuals and work groups maximize their potential and achieve personal, business, and organizational success.  Her services include coaching for individuals and teams; design and facilitation of group retreats; design and delivery of personal and professional development workshops; and organizational consulting. 

 

Peg earned her Master’s in Education from Northern Arizona University and received her coach training through the Adler School of Professional Coaching.  She is certified by the International Coach Federation.  Learn more at www.wellspringsconsulting.com or check out her page on LinkedIn.

 

What Might Be Holding You Back?

By Ellen M. Diana, Ph.D.

If you haven’t made your list of New Year’s resolutions yet, you’re running out of time!  Thinking about your list can feel energizing or cumbersome depending on your perspective. But most likely, you’ll feel guilty if you don’t make a list, a bit aimless and scattered about your goals and plans for the New Year.

Before you start to work on this pesky list, decide what will make you happy in 2013. What will it take to increase your life satisfaction? What do you desire that is missing from your life, or what areas of your life could improve? Considering these questions will make your list more meaningful and, ultimately, more attainable.

Next, divide your list into personal and professional goals. Be specific and avoid broad statements such as “Get a new job” or “Lose weight.” Instead, list “Explore jobs where I can work out of my home and match or exceed my current salary” or “Exercise for 30 minutes at least twice a week and avoid fast food for lunch.” Be realistic and list goals that are attainable, not “get a college degree” if you haven’t even started a program. Instead, list “explore college programs and apply for entrance” as a goal. Keep your list to ten items or under.  If you reach all your goals mid-year, you can always start a new list or just sit back and enjoy your accomplishments until 2014 rolls around.

Finally, determine what holds you back from reaching your goals. Often personal insecurities, rather than lack of motivation or talent, hold you back from being all you can be. Take the following quiz to determine which of six barriers has the potential to hold you back from being your best self in 2013. The quiz surveys self-esteem, stress management, self-acceptance, relationships, interpersonal boundaries, and positive thinking.  If you’re had difficulty meeting your goals most often it’s due to one of these six barriers.

Self-check Quiz

Take this brief quiz to identify what holds you back from reaching your goals.

 

Directions: Put a check in front of the items that are true for you. Respond as quickly as possible without over thinking your responses.

 

_____ 1. I have more weaknesses than strengths.

_____ 2. I worry about the future.

_____ 3. I should change some things about myself.

_____ 4. I feel taken advantage of at home or work.

_____ 5. Sometimes I’m afraid to be honest with others.

_____ 6. I often feel helpless and hopeless about some situations in my life.

_____ 7. I don’t feel positive about my future.

_____ 8. I find it hard to be around others who don’t share my beliefs.

_____ 9. Not many people know the real me.

_____ 10. I feel that people I’m close to should know what I need without my having to tell them.

_____ 11. I often criticize myself.

_____ 12. Sometimes I overreact to situations.

_____ 13. I am not often curious about or interested in others’ ideas and opinions.

_____ 14. I can’t stop thinking about past mistakes or failures.

_____ 15. I feel sad a lot of the time.

_____ 16. I often ask for advice before making a decision.

_____ 17. I tend to avoid dealing with my problems.

_____ 18. I don’t accept compliments or help from others very well.

_____ 19. I feel like I’m good at giving advice.

_____ 20. I am a perfectionist.

_____ 21. I see most people as being very different from me.

_____ 22. I often overlook my body’s signals of stress, anxiety, fatigue, anger, and sadness.

_____ 23. I feel alone and disconnected from others.

_____ 24. I don’t always say what I really mean.

_____ 25. I often use the words “should” or “have to.”

_____ 26. I don’t like the way I look.

_____ 27. I find it hard to relax.

_____ 28. I often skip meals or eat whatever is quick and available.

_____ 29. I worry about pleasing others more than I worry about pleasing myself.

_____ 30. There are some people I just don’t like.

 

Scoring the Quiz:

Circle the numbers below that correspond to the statements you checked:

 

C - 11, 16, 18, 26, 28; H - 2, 12, 14, 22, 27; A - 1, 3, 20, 25, 30;

R - 8, 10, 13, 19, 21; G - 4, 5, 9, 24, 29; E - 6, 7, 15, 17, 23.

 

C	Low Self-Confidence
H	Anxiety and Stress
A	Self-Limiting Beliefs
R	Conflicted Relationships
G	Unhealthy Boundaries
E	Depression and Negative Thinking

 

Count the number of items in each of the six letter categories and notice the ones that have 2 or more circled. These are the areas that keep you stuck and interfere with your ability to meet your goals for success, happiness, and love.

Notice the categories that have zero or one circled. These areas may be ones in which you have fewer challenges, your areas of strength.

Armed with this knowledge, seek out self-help books and online resources, such as my Charge Up Your Life series of books to acquire the tools to conquer your personal barriers.

Make 2013 your best year ever!

Ellen Diana is a psychologist, author of the Lucky Dreamer Tip Series, and co-author of the Charge up Your Life series of self-help books. She has 30 years’ experience working with children, adults, couples, and families in schools and in private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Helping women to evolve into their best selves through personal growth and self-awareness is a passion of hers. Ellen raised three successful children as a single parent and so has special interests in mentoring other women in transition and helping parents to raise resilient children. Contact Ellen at drdiana@ellendiana.com or through her website www.ellendiana.com

21 Ways to Be Happy Right Now!

Unlike popular belief, happiness does not just happen. We all have moments when we feel the euphoria of being happy and wish it could last. But invariably, something happens to shatter that feeling of happiness leaving us feeling depressed, frustrated and unhappy. The happy – unhappy cycle starts all over again as we look for the next thing that will make us happy only to be disappointed when it doesn’t happen. The cycle continues as we try to create or influence the right circumstances to be at peace, to find fulfillment and to be happy. You don’t need to wait for the right scenario or circumstances to be happy, you can be happy right now no matter what.

 

Happiness does not depend on your genetics as some people think nor does it depend on your circumstances. Happiness is created from the inside-out. You don’t need to wait for Mr. Right to be happy. You don’t need the next promotion, the next job, the nice car or even to be recognized for your accomplishments to be happy. While those things are all good and worthy of your attention, you can be happy even if none of that comes true. Your happiness will be found on the inside. Happiness does not just happen when the circumstances are right; you can actually learn how to be happy. You can make happiness happen! Here are 21 things you can do to be happy right now.

1. Change your mind:  No circumstance or situation has meaning in and of itself. It only has the meaning we give it. That meaning is created in our mind and governs our perception. To change life’s experience we need only change our mind to give positive meaning to each encounter and experience. You can change your mind by saying, “I am willing to see this differently,” and then seek a positive way to look at it. 
2. Stop trying to impress: No one person is more important than another. Sure, there are those that have accomplished more, but that does not make them more important than you. You are equals. When you truly sense your equality with all people you no longer feel the need to impress. You are impressive just as you are.
3. Live in real time: Are you burdened by the past? Are you worrying about the future? Right now is all that is real. If you give life to the past you energize the past and it can rob you of the chance to be happy in real time. Stressing about the future will create worry, fear, and anxiety over what is to come. Release yourself of the past and worry over the future by living in real time. Living in real time brings real happiness.
4. Have a gratitude attitude: Abundance begins with training yourself to see how much you have to be grateful for. Regardless of your circumstances you have something to be thankful for. Find that one thing, be grateful for it and let that gratitude fill your being. You will then have your eyes opened to all that you can and should be grateful for. As you develop gratitude, your problems and worry dissolve and you will be happy.
5. Don’t compare: True success and achievement is not about being better than someone else it is about being better today than you were yesterday. Comparing yourself to anyone is self-defeating. Comparing is a veiled form of judgment and only serves to create competition and contention which are barriers to you being happy.
6. Perform appropriate service: When we provide service we turn our inward focus outward. This opens up room for more blessings of peace and harmony within us. But be sure to give with the right intention and to give appropriate service. Appropriate service is giving without resentment or feeling obligated.
7. Forgive: You cannot give what you don’t already have. Forgiving yourself enables you to forgive others. Forgiving even the smallest of offenses lifts a burden off your shoulders that allows you to feel love and peace in abundance. This empowers you to be happy.
8. Know thyself: You are who God created. You are who you are suppose to be and all that has happened to you has created the greatest of God’s creations – YOU! By knowing your divine nature you are able to connect with the universe in ways that will dissolve adversity and negativity leaving you with happiness.
9. Cut some slack: When we give someone the benefit of the doubt we are being emotionally generous. This emotional generosity will dissolve contention and allow you to see someone’s innocence instead of their guilt. The act of cutting slack is a great gift that is rewarded by happiness.
10. Underreact: Underreacting is the opposite of freaking out. Learning to Underreact allows you to have a more appropriate response to any situation. There are so few things that are really urgent or require a split second decision. Take some time to consider alternatives by choosing to underreact to any situation.
11. Choose to forget: Our thoughts are the source of our pain and emotion not the events that we consider painful. You can choose to selectively forget the offenses of others and relieve your mind of pain and negative emotion. Say to yourself, “I choose to forget,” until you no longer remember what you were upset about or the offenses of others. You will be amazed and the peace you will feel by forgetting.
12. Be curious:  We all encounter difficult people we have to deal with on a regular basis. One way to take contention and blame out of a situation and restore peace is to become curious about the other person and the circumstance itself. This allows you to have an open mind and understand before you try to be understood. Being curious creates positive emotions that in turn will lead to being happy.
13. Be kind: Kindness is the universal antidote to unhappiness. If you are feeling down, lonely, hurt or distraught. Be kind to anyone and everyone you encounter. A light will begin to shine in your life and your burdens will become lighter and your own problems will shrink in size and intensity.
14. Find beauty in all things: There is beauty all around us and yet we are all so busy that we don’t see it. To see that beauty once again will open your eyes to the wonder of the universe and the earth you live on. As you experience beauty you will feel as one and in harmony with the universe. Take a moment to see the beauty around you. Do it at least once a day and you will feel healthier and happier.
15. Expect abundance: Abundance is yours. Don’t chase it – expect it. Just as you expect and trust that the sun will rise each day, expect and trust that abundance is yours each day. This expectation will cause you to look for it and I promise you will find it. As you find abundance it will grow as you acknowledge it.
16. Laugh: It is said that laughter is the best medicine and it is true. Laughter will relieve anxiety, shame, guilt, depression, and fear. Whether it is a joke, a story of just learning to take ourselves less seriously, laughing is like emotional fitness training – it will stimulate your senses and create positive feelings. Find something to laugh about each day.
17. Don’t let your possessions posses you:  Our possessions possess us not the other way around. When we attach ourselves to material things it deadens our ability to be happy because we are so concerned about what we have that we cannot determine who we are. Your possessions only have the meaning you give them. Appreciate them for what they are but beware of their ability to possess you and rob you of happiness.
18. Be partially blind: We have all heard the phrase, “love is blind.” And it is true! When we fall in love the euphoria we feel prevents us from seeing the faults and inadequacies of the person we love. That blindness is a key to being happy by allowing you to see only the positive traits in others. We don’t need to worry ourselves so much with other people’s faults and inadequacies. Fault finding does more damage to you than the other person. Give it up by allowing yourself to be partially blind to the faults of others and you will be amazed at the positive feelings you have.
19. Love: Love is the magic potion of happiness. Love is not merely affection or physical attraction like many think. Love is energy. An energy that can heal any situation and remove fear, hate, contention and anger. Try to extend loving energy to any encounter and you will transform the situation into a positive experience dissolving all negativity empowering you to be happy.
20. Re-“shape” adversity: It is so easy to be a victim. So easy to blame everything and everyone for what happens to you. Your adversity can become your greatest teacher by shaping it into a positive instead of a negative. Instead of asking why is this happening TO me? Ask, why is this happening FOR me? As you do, you will grow and become more than you were before.
21. Like what you do: We all have to do things we don’t want to do. If we focus on what we don’t want to do we create negative forces that will rob us of positive feelings and happiness. When you make being happy a priority then you learn to like what you do by focusing on the positive aspects. Even if it is something you don’t want to do you will grow from the experience and that growth is a positive thing. Dwell on the positive and let go of the negative emotion that prevents you from being happy.

You don’t have to do all of these to be happy right now. Choose one to do today and pay attention to how good you feel. Do it again tomorrow or pick another one to work on. As you do, you will find that you are leaning to be happy no matter what! You are making happiness happen.

Kirk Wilkinson is the Founder and President of The Happiness Factor, a best-selling author, two-time cancer survivor, speaker and life coach. The Happiness and Factor and the Fresh Start for Women Foundation have partnered to bring you a powerful and uplifting on-line coaching program. Click here to learn more.