Tuesday, January 8, 2013

4 Stages to True Happiness

Are you one of the over 20 million Americans searching for how to be happier and healthier?

Yes, you read that correctly, over 20 million people have sat down at their computers and

searched for how to be happier and healthier. That’s an epidemic!

Especially for women, being happy is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Because we are so

connected to our emotions, our bodies, our energy, when we are unhappy or out of alignment

with our truth, our center or ourselves, it creates a discomfort that is often unbearable. Do

you remember that old saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” It’s so true! Just the way we are

designed and created, happiness is essential to our health and well being. When we are happy,

we make healthier choices - we value ourselves and treat ourselves with care, respect and act


But there is more to this happiness picture than just the surface. Yes of course we love it when

we experience the elation that comes from losing 5 lbs or being recognized for our contributions

at work, but these are experiences that just temporarily boost our mood. What I’ve discovered

in coaching women over these last seven years, is that most women desire something much

deeper than this. What we truly desire is the happiness that is an internal state of being which

says, ”I’m OK no matter what. I’m valuable and all of life supports me.” In other words, we want

true happiness.

There are four stages to true happiness and each stage builds upon the previous until we

eventually find ourselves in that place of happiness and well being. As you explore the stages, I

encourage you to identify which stage you’re in and explore the different suggestions to evolve

to the next stage.

1. The first stage is the victim stage.

This is when we believe that life happens to us. We are at the whim and mercy of our bosses, our spouses, our children, the economy, etc. We feel that we don’t have a voice or choice in life and often our dominant emotions are fear, anger and resentment. It’s hard to be happy when you feel that you have no control over what happens to you.

All of us are victims to a certain extent when we are small as we don’t really have a lot of choices and we’re dependent on others for survival. At that stage in life –life is happening to us. But to find true happiness, we have to evolve out of this stage. Otherwise, we will always be like a rudder-less boat in the ocean, bobbing and swaying to whatever the current throws our way.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Learn to say no with kindness

● Speak up for yourself

● Set clear and consistent boundaries

● Take time for you

2. The second stage is the control stage.

As we learn to do the things mentioned above, we awaken to our power and begin to discover that we have influence or control over our lives.  We also realize that our mindset, our intentions and our prayers can actually come true. We learn that what we focus on grows, so we create a positive mindset and often times deepen our faith.

As powerful as this stage is, it’s actually only the beginning of true happiness. Because at this stage, everything has to be in our control to be happy. So if we cannot control it, then we are not happy. This is the point where we realize that we need to have a better concept of happiness because we cannot control everyone and everything.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Ask for help

● Let go of things that do not bring you happiness

● Allow others to take more responsibility

● Prayer & meditation

3. The third stage is the awakening stage.

This is the stage when we awaken to the fact that to be truly happy, it has to come from within. That our heart, our minds, our bodies and our being can all align in a true state of happiness. We recognize that we can experience happiness in spite of what is happening around us.

Often times at this stage, we experience all the good feeling emotions such as gratitude and joy and it’s a pretty good stage to be in! But we actually have one more step in our journey to true happiness, which is to embody and live this awakening.

To evolve to the next stage, explore one or more of the following:

● Ask for higher or divine guidance

● Trust your intuition

● Look for signs and clues from life

4. The final stage is true happiness.

This is where we come to be happy. Where we have this center and core of peace and joy that while flexible, is permanent. This is also the stage when we realize that to keep our happiness, we need to spread it. When we finally realize that rather than looking for happiness in people, places and things, we can bring happiness everywhere we go.

This is true happiness - a state of being and living. From this place, life opens up and no matter what happens, you can chose to be happy.

To maintain true happiness, try these steps:

● Look for places and people where you can bring happiness

● Give back what you have discovered for yourself

● Express your happiness in unique ways

Gabrielle Marie Loomis is an Extraordinary Coach, Speaker & Educator who awakens

women to their true power and potential. Women who engage in Gabrielle’s programs

experience personal and professional empowerment leading to radical transformation in

their lives. Results include feeling like a new woman, glowing confidence and radiating

joy! Gabrielle has mastery level training in coaching, energy psychology and human

potential and loves to incorporate her natural intuitive abilities into everything she does.

She offers a variety of transformational programs, products and services which can be

found at www.gabriellemarieloomis.com.

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