Becoming depressed is a process that does not occur
suddenly. Deep sadness and feelings of despair develop over time when they are
allowed to continue unrecognized and unchecked. To avoid the pitfalls of
depression, recognize the signs of negative thinking before they progress into
depression. Becoming aware of the signs of despair is the first step in heading
it off and getting your life back on a hopeful course. It is easier to
intervene at the start of the cycle of depression than to wait until you have
become debilitated and are experiencing serious dysfunction at home, at work,
or in your social life.
The three primary types of negative thinking are catastrophizing,
filtering, and personalizing. Each can cause you to feel helpless and hopeless,
the hallmarks of despair.
· When you catastrophize you
believe that situations are bigger than they really are and that they affect
far more than they actually do. You see a problem in one area of your life as
affecting all areas which makes them feel overwhelming and
impossible to solve.
· Filtering causes you to view situations with pessimism, and you see only
the worst and avoid seeing the positive elements. Over
time this creates negative mental pathways and habitually pessimistic ways of
looking at the world.
· Personalizing originates from an egocentric point of view through which you
feel that everything is all about you and that all events somehow relate to
you. Personalizing takes two basic forms: In the first form you perceive
that events are happening to you alone and not to others. In the second form, you view situations as being about you when
they may not be.
When
you notice negative thinking, consider the following ideas for managing it and
adopting a more hopeful, positive outlook:
· Separate areas of your life as much as possible
during times of stress and trauma. Leave your work problems at work and your
home issues at home. This allows you to feel more in control, at least for part
of your day, which makes it easier for you to feel in charge of your life.
· Examine issues and determine if you are viewing
them as “right-sized” or if you have attributed more significance to an event
than it actually deserves.
· Find balance by recognizing both positive and negative aspects of all
situations. When you catch yourself over focusing on the negative, remind
yourself to assess the whole situation and identify some positive, or neutral,
elements.
· Recognize that setbacks are impersonal.
Problems happen to everyone and no one is immune.
· Stay present through crises and avoid ruminating over
past failures or anticipating events which have yet to occur. This allows you
to generate a plan for the future because hope, not despair, is guiding your
actions. The present is the only place where anything can
happen in your life ¾the past has already occurred and the future is yet to come.
· When you feel singled out, check out your assumptions to
determine if they were accurate.
· Recognize that setbacks are temporary and impersonal. What is
happening now will pass because change is the most constant part of life. The
most painful of events will either pass or will lose intensity over time.
· Take action to feel effective in making change. Do something¾exercise or an activity. Action generates energy,
which keeps you in the present.
· Connect with your support system. Avoid isolating during stressful
times.
Consider the quality of your thinking patterns to determine how often
you focus on the negative. Noticing your negative thinking patterns helps to
ultimately destroy them. Being aware of the frequency and intensity of
negativity is the first step in moving away from despair.
Ellen Diana is a psychologist, author of the Lucky
Dreamer Tip Series, and co-author of the Charge
up Your Life series of self-help books. She has
30 years’ experience working with children, adults, couples, and families in
schools and in private practice in Scottsdale ,
Arizona
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