There’s obviously something very
symbolic about the start of a New Year that compels people to rethink their
life. When else do you find such a mass
of people resolving to do things differently?
And yet for some reason, this compulsion is not so dire as to keep
people committed for the long term.
According to a survey conducted
by time management experts FranklinCovey, 35 percent of New Year's
resolutions are broken less than a month after they are made. The survey
enlisted the answers of 15,000 respondents and found that only 23 percent of
New Year's Eve resolutions were kept. That is slightly more than one person out of
five, which means that nearly four out of five people couldn't stay committed
to their desired change.
For
many of us change doesn’t come easy. One
theory about change is
that it takes about 21 – 28 days to make a new behaviour into a habit. If you apply this concept to the survey, we would
assume that 65% of participants were successful in keeping to their resolution. However this was not the case. After more than 30 days of practicing the new
behavior, an additional 42% of the participants failed to change. Looking into this theory a bit deeper I found
it came from a piece of research by a surgeon who in 1960 was investigating how
long it took a patient to adjust to the loss of a limb. So is this theory relevant
to the changing of habits?
In
2009 a study out of the University College London recruited 96 volunteers who
wanted to make a variety of different changes from drinking a glass of water
each morning to doing 50 sit ups before breakfast. The researchers found that on average it took
66 days (of daily repetitions) to form a new habit so that it became an
automatic part of the participants’ lives. However although the average time to
make a new behavior was 66 days there was a wide range of timings between 18
days and over 200 days. What this leads
me to believe is for some people change comes easier than for others; the rate
of success may depend on what type of change is being made; and more so the
meaningful connection to the change will be directly related to the pace of
success.
A
prime function of life coaching is to help people successfully make change to
their life. A key component is the
person’s desire to change. When people
set a New Year’s resolution there is most definitely a desire to change. However in many cases, the desire can be
superficial or driven by the opinions and norms of others. Sure we all know why we should lose weight or
exercise more but is just knowing it’s good for you enough to keep you on
track? When helping my clients strive for
long term change, I help them connect to core values or deep beliefs that support
the need for change. These types of intrinsic motivators help to keep a
person focused not on what they are giving up, but how the change is meaningful
to them. When we are conscious of the
connection to what we truly believe in – that is, how the change impacts a
bigger purpose than our egos – our chances of success increase immensely.
So
if there is something in your life you want to change don’t wait for the New
Year. Start now and follow these steps
to help you stay committed.
1.
Clearly
articulate the change you want to make. Don’t
just say “I want to lose weight”. Define
how much weight you want to lose and identify key ways you’re going to make it
happen. For example “I want to lose 15
pounds in two months and I will stop binging on junk food and start preparing
my meal plan for each week. I will bring
lunch and snacks to work, drink six glasses of water a day ….” This changes the conceptual goal into a
clear, realistic and attainable action plan.
The key is to make it attainable in relation to the realities of your
life. Don’t create an unrealistic action
plan to go to the gym five times a week (for example) when your days are
already hectic because you’re working full time and going to school at night. An unattainable action plan sets you up for a
guaranteed failure.
2.
Think
about why this change is important to you.
Go deep into your heart and find true meaning to this change. Connect to authentic values within you that
are important to honor (that maybe you haven’t been honoring). Keep going deeper and deeper until you feel
the emotional connection to the outcome of the change.
3.
Put
your action plan into your calendar and set reminders. This will help you remember to keep
practicing what you’ve set out to accomplish.
4.
Set
up a support group. This could entail
someone you know who has the same goal or someone who will check in with you to
hold you accountable. Choose someone who
you know will be willing to invest their time in you.
5.
Create
small achievement goals and reward yourself for your accomplishments. For example, maybe after two months of
consistently walking for 30 minutes three times a week treat yourself to
something special like a relaxing massage; a great top you had your eye on or
maybe even a celebration with your support buddy. Make it something focused for you – you’ve
earned it.
6.
Be
fair to yourself. Remember that change
isn’t always easy and if you fall off track, assess why, dust yourself off and
get back on your way!
Best wishes for the New
Year from Cindy Gordon of Culture Shock Coaching, LLC
Cindy's
goal is to live in a world where every person is engaged in a career that
brings them personal and financial success. When this happens, it creates
successful companies, successful relationships and successful
communities. Cindy knows first hand how being in the right career can
change your life for the better. For 20 years she was in a profession
where she was not able to be fully authentic. In 2006 when she
found life coaching, she gained a new sense of self confidence, pride in her
work and happiness in her life. Cindy's passion had led her to work with
both business leaders and individuals to help them gain insight into their
personal and corporate values and to understand how to honor these
values in their work.
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