Things don’t
always go as expected so it’s helpful to have a backup plan. These six tips will help you to stay positive
when the inevitable disappointments in life ¾job, home, relationships ¾come your way.
1. Practice patience
Patience involves accepting difficult
circumstances with strength and dignity, rather than becoming mired in anxiety
and fear. Anxiety is generated when you ruminate over the past or feel
apprehensive about the future. Neither is helpful since the past has already
occurred and the future is yet to come. Staying patient with what is,
right now in the present, helps you to identify your resources and gather your
energy.
2. Take responsibility
Avoid blaming yourself or anyone else
for what has happened. Attempt to identify the lesson from the experience that
you can carry forward into making your future the best it can be. Minimize
complaining and fretting because they waste time, create a negative mind-set,
and cause you to feel helpless. Accept
full responsibility for what has occurred primarily because this places you in
a position of power. You are in charge of what happens next.
3. Be grateful for what is going right
Trouble rarely affects all areas of
your life at the same time so recognize what is going right for you. Gratitude
is a powerful emotion which keeps you from moving down a path to depression. If
you’ve lost your job or are having difficulty finding one, practice feeling
grateful for your family, friends, and
home. Notice when you are
minimizing the positives in your life and over-emphasizing the negatives. Keep
perspective and balance.
4. Recognize that change is inevitable
One thing you can always count on is
change. Nothing in your life stays the same for very long so when you are
feeling disappointed about an event in your life, know that change is on the
way. If you feel that this is a disappointment which may be challenging to
overcome, look back and consider all the changes, big and small, which you have
weathered in your life. Each change, disappointment, and obstacle has brought
you to where you are today.
5. Stay connected
In times of stress it is tempting to
isolate and avoid social contact, with those you live with as well as those in
your broader social circle. You may not feel like socializing but in stressful
times it’s important to stay connected. Start with small things like smiling at
the person you pass and make eye contact with. Notice others, what they are
doing or wearing, and make a pleasant comment. Don’t hold your disappointment
inside but share it with those closest to you.
6. Remain focused on your goals
Above all, stay clear about what your
ultimate goals are. This setback is temporary and will pass. When you keep your
eye on your objectives you are open to opportunities that will inevitably
present themselves. You’ll be less inclined to miss any new prospects to
improve your situation. Remember that when one door closes another one opens
but it’s up to you to keep your eyes open and look for it.
Ellen Diana is a psychologist, author of the Lucky
Dreamer Tip Series, and co-author of the Charge
up Your Life series of self-help books. She has
30 years’ experience working with children, adults, couples, and families in
schools and in private practice in Scottsdale ,
Arizona
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