Whether your goal is to lose weight, change careers or finally end the relationship you
know is going nowhere, we all come to points in our lives when change is necessary.
In fact, many great philosophers and spiritual leaders have said that change is
the only constant presence in our lives. We don’t have to look far to see change
everywhere - just look at nature in a yearly cycle or our changes in mood or hunger in
a given day. We and our environment is perpetually in a state of motion and change.
There is even some fascinating emerging fields of science such as epigentics and
neuroplasticity that tell us that our brains and bodies are always in a constant state
of change. Cellular biologists will tell you that you have an entirely new body - every
single cell - every seven years.
So with change being such an ever present reality, I find it intriguing that we as
women often feel challenged to create positive changes in our lives. If everything
is always in a constant state of motion, why can’t we easily make desired changes
to our habits, lifestyle and ways of being and doing?
It’s such a paradox because while change is the only constant in our Universe,
humans are hardwired to resist and avoid change. It simply is in our nature to cling
to stability, safety, the familiar and the routine. So what do we do when we have
reached the point where we know we need to change and yet find ourselves squaring
off against our own resistance?
What I’ve discovered as a coach, guide and mentor to women in transition as well as
in my own personal journey, is that there are three keys to consider when creating
positive and lasting change. When we, as women embrace and apply them, change
becomes real, inevitable and permanent. And since I regularly have people tell
me that I’m unrecognizable from when they knew me in the past, I consider myself
somewhat of an expert in the change department!
Key 1: Welcome ChangeThe first step to creating lasting and positive change is to set the proper foundation
for change to flourish. It’s just like growing a plant from the seed. We have to
nurture the plant in the right environment - till the soil, plant where there’s plenty
of light and water regularly. The same can be true of our desires and dreams for
change. If we haven’t cultivated the right environment, then our efforts to change
will be short lived, temporary and most likely frustrating.
Before you set out to make changes, pause and take time to prepare yourself and
Ask yourself questions such as what needs to happen for me to be
fully ready? There may be some preliminary steps or plans or something that needs to
fall into place before you are ready to move forward with change. Maybe you need to
get a certification before going into business for yourself or read a book on the art of
effective communication before deciding your partner is not the one for you.
Furthermore, identify any blocks or obstacles to change - get clear on your potential
stumbling blocks so you can deal with them in a straightforward manner. If you know
something will be a block, be creative in thinking about the ways to work around
it. If exercise is part of your efforts to be healthy, for example, then how are you
going to be creative in fitting it into your routine?
The more you anticipate and plan around the blocks, the greater your chances of sticking with the changes when it starts to get rough.
Key 2: Clarify ChangeClarity is the biggest reason why most women are unsuccessful in their effort to
make real and lasting changes. Here’s a case in point and truth be told, a page
from my history. I used to think for years that if I was just the right clothes size,
all my problems would go away. Even when I got to be an adult and knew better,
emotionally I still clung to the idea that when I lost weight, I would be happy. And so
I went on diet after diet and would sometimes lose weight, but always gained it back.
I was the proverbial yo-yo dieter.
Eventually I realized that being a smaller size wasn’t actually getting me what I
wanted. Yes it gave me a healthier body, and smaller clothes, but it didn’t take care
of the cause of my unhappiness or make all my problems go away. That was an inside
job which required more than a quick outside fix.
Because I was unrealistic in my expectations, I was frequently disappointed with
my results. When the change didn’t bring me what I truly desired, it was easy to
abandon my efforts and give up. Has this ever happened for you? You get so far down
the path of change only to realize it’s not bringing you what you truly desire?
The second key to positive and lasting change is to get real clear on why you are
changing. What do you want to feel or be or do as the result of this change? What
do you want the change to bring you? Go below the surface and the obvious and get
specific. What are your motivations for wanting this change?
The more clear and specific you are, the greater chances you have of making
realistic changes. The more realistic the changes are, the greater chances of
sticking with them and turning them into true transformation.
Key 3: Create ChangeThere’s a saying that goes something like this, “If nothing changes, then nothing
changes.” So truly the only way to create positive and lasting change, is to actually
take action. But not just any action - action that is in complete alignment with the
change you desire.
Creating a detailed plan of action is necessary to get enough momentum, clarity
and focus to create lasting change.
Change always feels effort-ed in the beginning.
It takes time, mental attention, energy and awareness and all of that feels like a lot
when it’s new. Eventually, new changes become habits (21 days to be exact) and new
habits become a lifestyle (90 days to be exact), but in the beginning it all seems like a
lot of work.
In order to create your detailed plan of action, get yourself into a place where
you can visualize what life would be like with the changes. Going back to my
personal weight loss example, when I finally did become successful in losing weight
permanently, part of what I did was consistently think about what my life would be
like once I was healthier. Where would I go? Who would I hang out with? How would
my life be different? How would it be the same?
When I could get a clear picture of this in my mind, it allowed me to then ask some
very important questions that ultimately influenced my decisions and choices. I
would ask, what would a healthy version of me do in this situation? What choices
would she make? What priorities would she have? How would she take care of herself
to be healthy?
All of these questions gave me a plan of action that moved me,
choice by choice and day by day towards my desires and goals.
Named after the great archangel, Gabrielle Marie Loomis is a Messenger for our modern day world. Through her work, she has helped hundreds of women connect with their own power to heal, love and shine brightly in the world. With over fifteen years of training in energy psychology, manifestation techniques, metaphysics and holistic healing modalities, she has been described as a master coach, healer, medical intuitive, shaman, psychic, counselor and spiritual adviser. But more than her training, it is her own personal experience of radical transformation that informs her work and allows her to awaken women to their feminine power and unique brilliance. In addition to her private practice, which includes a variety of transformational programs, products and services, Gabrielle works on staff at an integrative wellness clinic and is a faculty member at the award winning college, The Southwest Institute of Healing Arts. Her credentials include Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, Certified Lifeline Practitioner and Certified Life Coach. She has been a featured guest on various radio shows including Hay House and Seaview radio. She lives in Phoenix, AZ where she enjoys the mountains, sunshine and all that the Southwest has to offer. To learn more visit www.gabriellemarieloomis.com.